Stay strong and move on ....

To Him...

You told me you tried to block me out of your mind ,
as you thought it would be best to try and forget me. 

yet i was there fighting to make sure you didn't forget me.

little did i know my fight was in vain.

you still said then that you would love to come and see me soon.

i hate that everyday i look out my windows at work ,
 i see a work van park up in the lay by and still hope that you will appear. 

i hate that i wish you were here. 

walking into my salon and just telling to " get your butt here and kiss me" 

even just hearing your voice would be heavenly right now, 

i haven't actually HEARD your voice in a phone call  for god... a month now... 

i guess it's a month. 

i miss your sexy, husky voice. 

knowing i can even hear it when you smile.

knowing that i made you smile.. i wish i could do that again. 

i want to show you how happy and relaxed life is where i am.

To show you life can be so so different to what you are used to. 

the life you experienced with me when we met...

is how it can be everyday.dammit why cant you see that!? 

why can't you see that i care about you so much,
why can't you see that i actually Love you.

.that i'm actually IN LOVE with you. 

you said no one had ever loved you or even made you feel loved. 

What happened when you went back ?

i kept doing what i did when we met and you changed how you feel...

you swore to me it's not a fling... but this certainly feels like that now. 

can you understand why i feel insecure. i hear from you Once in a blue moon...
and one day its i want to see you and then the next it's you not turning up..
 then making me feel bad for being upset and hurt. 

The man that i met that day... was so caring, mesmerising, sexy and wonderful.

you treated like an absolutely queen, like i was the only girl in the world for you. 

now i worry everyday that you've met someone else, and i've lost out :( 

please contact me, or ring me.

i know i have messaged you with the link to this blog, i want you to realise this all .

Someone actually Loves you dammit man!!! 

actually cares what happens to you, 

actually is excited to see you and missing you when you're not there...

 even if i only just saw you haha!

i felt so lucky to have met someone as amazing as you.
i see people around me getting treated with flowers etc.
and i feel heartbroken .. i feel like you don't want me anymore.


i love you mr.

please

x x